Insomnia
by breakaway-republic
Summary: After his encounter with Hanmyo, Jim is in for a sleepless night


***Aisha, Jim, Hanmyo, Gene, Suzuka, Melfina, Gillium, Mata, Kemi and Symka-5 are all property of Sunrise/Sotsu Agency and Bandai. As another fanfic writer put it: "I'm just playing with their toys". This is supposed to take place right after "Cats and Girls and Spaceships"*** 

Jim had a lot more on his mind than usual. Since leaving Symka-5, there was plenty to worry about. What if another pirate ship like the last one was out there, waiting? What were they going to do about money? Assuming they could find they Leiline, what would happen once they arrived there? Gene had been able to get Fred to wire additional funds to them after sending a brief text-only message that read "Attacked by Pirates. Need money.", but even Fred had his limits. 

That wasn't what was bothering him, though and he knew it. It was her. 

"Hanmyo" he sighed quietly as he tossed and turned. 

What went wrong, he kept asking himself. It was supposed to be fate that brought the two of them together. Was it also cruel fate that was splitting them apart? Why did he feel so helpless? Did something happen to her? All he was able to do since going to bed that night was torture himself with unending questions, sometimes wondering if she was even real. The memory of the two of them sitting together in the park with Kemi and Mata swirling approvingly around Jim's feet was almost fleeting, yet it was real enough to be keeping him awake this late. 

After leaving the space station, he put on his bravest face. It was best to drop the whole thing, since he didn't want to hear any more crap from Gene. Since that mysterious pirate vessel had evaded Gilliam's sensors until it was almost right next to them, Jim thought it would be a good inea to have a night watch to keep an eye out for any more pirate ships. Since he made up the schedule, he would take the first 2 hours, Suzuka the next 2, Aisha the following 2, then Gene and Melfina. Both Aisha and Suzuka proved to be quite useful when controlling each individual arm of the Outlaw Star, and he was debating wether or not that should be a regular part of the battle plan or a last resort. 

Yet, for what seemed like the millionth time that night, his mind found its way back to Hanmyo as she stood in front of the fountain, held his hands and told him that it was fate that put them together. There was no way he was going to get any sleep at this rate. He slipped out of bed and decided that maybe he should raid the galley. When he stepped out of his room, he heard the rustling of paper from the cabin. It was Aisha, unwrapping and eating another one of those sweet riceballs she had stocked up on at the space station. There was a small pile of rice-ball wrappers on the floor next to her seat and her ears twitched a bit as she turned around. 

"Jim? What are you still doing up?" she asked 

"I couldn't sleep- I thought I'd get something from the galley..." he said. However, instead of heading to the galley, he found himself walking straight towards her chair. There was a long silence as Jim looked at the ground and nervously shuffled his feet. Nothing but the steady hum of the Unsen engines filled the cabin for a few minutes until Jim finally looked up at her. "Can I talk to you?" Jim asked. 

"Of course, what is it?" 

He couldn't believe he was doing this. Aisha would probably tease him as much as Gene did, maybe more so. She slid halfway out of the chair. Sening his reluctance and patted next to her knee. "Take a seat- what's on your mind?" 

Jim climbed up and sat next to Aisha. She was looking at him with those wide, unblinking blue eyes and wearing a slightly puzzled look on her face. He sensed concern on her part and realized he might as well tell her everything as his reluctance ebbed. 

"When we were back on Symka-5- I met someone...."Jim started 

"A girl?" Aisha asked. He seemed distracted earlier and Gene had asked something about a date. 

He nodded. He told her about the cats, the encounter by the fountain, the flowers, Hanmyo's decree that fate had guided them to each other, his afternoon with Hanmyo and how she promised to meet him later on that day, his voice starting to waver and crack towards the end. Aisha listened with mixed emotions. She'd never admit it out loud, she was a bit jealous of this Hanmyo girl. However, if there was anybody else on the Outlaw Star who was entitled to a little bit of happiness, it was Jim. But she knew this story wouldn't have a happy ending if it was keeping him up this late. Jim then told her about how he was supposed to meet Hanmyo in front of the same fountain the other day, but she never showed up. 

The last of Jim's brave facade crumbled and tears were now streaming down his cheeks. He couldn't bring himself to look at Aisha, and he braced himself for an annoying lecture on how the immortal C'tarl C'tarl would never shed tears over such trivial things and being called a crybaby. What am I even doing here? he asked himself. 

The anticipated taunts and lecture never came. Instead, he felt a finger gently lift his chin and he found himself looking into her eyes again. Jim's tears were now coming down fast and furious and he was unable to stifle a sob. 

"It's OK, Jim." was all she could say. "Go ahead. Let it all out." 

"What....what did I do wrong Aisha?" He turned away 

Aisha was still searching any words to reassure the boy, or at least take his mind off of what was obviously his first heartbreak, but she didn't want to seem like she was belittiling him. It hurt her to see him like this. She may be an immortal C'tarl C'tarl with the strength of 10 men, but more often than not, Jim was the pillar of strength among their little group. How sad that his hard work and perseverence was rewarded with heartache. Using her thumb, she brushed a tear off of his cheek. 

"I don't think you did anything wrong" she said "There's an old saying from the aincent book of C'tarl: "Every moment of pleasure in life must be purchased with an equal moment of pain". Maybe this just means you're getting all of the pain out of the way early on." She ruffled his hair a little, but the boy hardly reacted. Crap! She was never good at this sort of thing. Having Jim come to her like this was a mixed blessing. Aisha was glad that the boy trusted her and was confiding in her, but she had no idea what to say to reassure him. Maybe there was nothing she could do but just listen. For better or worse, what Jim was going through was all part of growing up. 

"Well, it's obvious that this Hanmyo made a big mistake, that's all....." 

"But we both agreed to meet a one o'clock." Jim said. 

"That's not what I meant" she snapped. "Maybe she's out there somewhere broken-hearted knowing that she'll never see you again." She bit her tounge and decided it would be best to keep quiet, she didn't want to speculate and make things worse. However, she noticed that Jim had gone from heartbroken and despondent to sleepy. The tears were gone and he was now slumped, his read resting against her belly. 

"Aisha?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Thanks for listening..." 

"Sure thing. And for what it's worth...." she paused, wondering if the boy was still awake. 

"Huh?" he asked, prompting her to continue. 

"I won't ever abandon you, Jim." she ran a lone finger through his hair. 

Jim let out a quiet, conetnted sounding sigh and wrapped a small arm around Aisha's waist . Aisha in turn wrapped an arm around Jim and held him close, almost like a small girl holding an oversized stuffed animal. As he drifted off to a well-earned sleep, Jim realized that he had never felt safer in his life. 


End file.
